just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize