Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
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