i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize