smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I smell like Dick and happiness
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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