Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Randomize