Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I said "one day" and that day is not today
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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