Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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