I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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