No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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