Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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