Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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