i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize