If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
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of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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