so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize