I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize