i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize