I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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