PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize