She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
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