I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize