And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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