i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize