Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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