he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
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I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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