i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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