I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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