whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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