it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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