So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
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Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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