New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize