Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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