yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize