gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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