Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize