Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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