I'm lost and stupid without you.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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