we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize