Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize