can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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