note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize