Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize