the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
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my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
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Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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