His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Pooping to opera.
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