I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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