Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
The maid of honor just puked.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Randomize
Follow @tfln