Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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