Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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