did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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