the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
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It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
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I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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