She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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